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Java with Juli: #248 Gay Girl, Good God: Jackie Hill Perry’s Story
Full Transcript
How do you love and care for a family member or friend who just came out as LGBT?
Well, the first thing I would say is keep loving them the way you did yesterday before they came out. This is an individual, this is a person. This isn’t an agenda that you have to react to. And so you really want to show that same consistent love that hopefully you’ve been showing as long as you’ve known that individual.
The second thing I would encourage you to do is look for an opportunity to lean in and really hear that individual’s journey. Why did they come out? What’s been happening underneath this surface? What have they been wrestling with? And also ask about where they are in their relationship with God. Maybe they are Christian, maybe they’re not Christian, but show concern about their journey in general, because they most likely feel afraid that the people they love are just going to alienate them. And to have somebody who really leans in and cares is gonna make a big difference.
And then in terms of what to do next, I think that is very individual and specific to two things. Number one, what is your relationship with the person? And number two, what is the person’s relationship with God? Now, why is that important? There’s a big difference between a distant relative, like a cousin that you see once or twice a year, and a son or daughter or brother or sister who you have a very close relationship with. And the closer the relationship you have with that person, really the more relational equity you have to lean into the conversation, and not just to listen, but maybe also to share some of your concerns and thoughts. But second of all, the individual’s relationship with God really matters. You know, if somebody doesn’t believe in God, they’re making choices based on their own compass of what’s right or wrong. And for you to bring up the Bible or to bring up what God says about their sexual choices, really is gonna miss the mark. Because the most important thing is the relationship with the Lord. Now, if someone claims to be a Christian and to have that relationship with God, now we’re talking more about an integrity issue of what does it look like to bring all of our life under the Lordship of Christ. Regardless of all that, my encouragement to you would be seek God’s wisdom. Your job is not to change the person you love. Only God can do that. They’re on their own journey with the Lord. Your job is to walk faithfully and to love well.
