Q&A: I’m same-sex attracted, am I just supposed to suppress my sexuality?
Explore additional resources on singleness.
Java with Juli: #224: Sexuality & Surrender (this episode is part of our archive and only available to members)
Blog: 3 Subconscious Beliefs You May Hold About Living With Same-Sex Attraction
Full Transcript
​As a same-sex attracted Christian, do you have to just suppress your sexual desire?
Boy, that’s a heavy question and it represents probably a lot of wrestling and a lot of pain. Well, first of all, let’s start with the fact that I really believe from the scripture desire is not destiny. And you know, we live in a world, in a culture where it tells you consistently that what you desire sexually defines who you are and defines who you should be with. And although it sounds very different, the Bible actually doesn’t teach that lesson. It says that we steward our desires. We don’t marry somebody because we desire them or we’re hot for them, we marry someone because we choose to covenant with them. We choose to form a covenant between a husband and wife, and whether you’re same sex attracted or not, there’s going to be a journey of learning to steward those desires as a single person and as a married person, let me give you an example.
There are a lot of married couples who are not always sexually attracted to each other. Maybe they haven’t felt naturally sexually attracted to one another for years, but integrity means that they work on nurturing that desire. If everybody just did what they desired related to sexuality, marriages wouldn’t last long. We’d probably end up marrying the wrong people. And so, although your journey as someone who experiences same sex attraction may feel different, it actually has a lot in common with all Christians who are learning to steward their sexuality in a way that has integrity in their relationships and also integrity in their walk with God.
