Full Transcript
So you just got engaged and you’re wondering, how do me and my fiance prepare for our marriage? How do we prepare for the honeymoon?
Let me give you some things to think about. First of all, I highly recommend some great premarital counseling. You know, most premarital counseling, they just take one week to talk about sexuality. And I don’t think that’s enough, particularly in our day and age. And it might not be your pastor that can do all this counseling. Maybe you wanna get a mentor couple who can just be really honest with you. But I think as you prepare for marriage, this is the time where you’re gonna start to be honest with your expectations, with things that you’ve struggled with currently or in your past. You wanna share about things like traumas that you’ve had. And it doesn’t mean you have to solve everything, but I think the more you know going in, the more prepared that you’re gonna be.
The second thing I would recommend is get a couple really good books that you can read together that can help you communicate about sexuality and have the right expectations. So a few that I would recommend, one is the “Celebration of Sex for Newlyweds” by Doug Roseau. And then the second book I’m gonna recommend, this might be a little self-serving, but this is what I’d want you to know. It’s a book that I wrote called “God, Sex, and Your Marriage”. And I’d encourage you, particularly as you get close to that honeymoon, like actually start to read those books out loud so you can develop the kind of language that you need to talk about this topic that you’re probably not real comfortable talking about.
And then finally, I would encourage you to go into marriage with a journey perspective like the best sex of your life shouldn’t be on your honeymoon in the first year of marriage. It actually should be something that you work toward over time. And a lot of times in that first year of marriage, you can encounter some roadblocks or hurdles. Don’t be discouraged, address those hurdles, but continue to remind each other that you’re in this for the long haul and that you’re building something that’s gonna just become more precious with time.
Now, engagements can be anywhere from a year long to just a few months, to a few weeks. And I think it’s important to understand that in those early days of engagement, let’s say the wedding is several months off, you wanna do the work of maybe talking about your sexual past with a counselor because those are things that are gonna take more time to work out. Um, but I would wait until maybe the last four to six weeks to really start talking about things like what your honeymoon’s gonna look like and communicating in detail about sexuality. Because if you are committed to waiting until you get married, that communication, that level of vulnerability is probably gonna just make it more difficult to wait until you actually get to your honeymoon. So I think it’s pacing it out as wisely as well.
