Authentic Intimacy

Q&A: Is There Any Hope for Me in My Struggle with Porn?

Is there hope for you in your struggle with porn?

Why We Don’t Experience Victory

I recently spoke with a young woman who despises herself because of her continual struggle with lust and pornography. She’s tried to obey God and run away from sin only to find herself falling into it once again. I’ve met other people who feel similar discouragement...

What Do I Do With My Sexual Desires?

“What do I do with my sexual desire?” I’ve heard this question from men and women of every age, from those who have never married and from those who find themselves “single again.” I have also heard this question from married people who, for one reason or another, do...

Q&A: How Can I Steward My Sexuality as a Single?

How do you steward your sexuality as a single person?

#448: When Did Sexual Identity Become a Thing? (and Why Are We Obsessed With It?)

Sexual identity has become a common phrase, a personal choice, a political cause and, for many, the way we introduce ourselves to others (used even by tweens and teens who’ve never had a sexual experience)—and it feels like it all happened overnight. Do you ever wonder how we got here?

#447: Strengthen Your Marriage Today (and Be Ready for Whatever 2023 May Bring)

Juli Slattery and Gary Thomas share wisdom and insight to keep your marriage together when the storms of life threaten to rip it apart.

#446: How Much More of Your Sexuality Will You Let God Reclaim in 2023?

Juli shares her thoughts on 2022, on having hard conversations about sexuality, and how to ask God to use painful...

#444: A Heart Set Free From Shame and Lies Is a Gift

Open the gift that allows you to experience real intimacy. Our long-awaited Savior came to set us free from sin and shame. Will you exchange your heart for His?

#443: Is Your View of Sex and Marriage Gift-worthy?

When marriage is simply about getting our needs met, we end up playing whack-a-mole with symptoms of sin and brokenness that pop up...

#442: How To Find Peace and Hope in the Midst of Anxiety

Linda Dillow shares about the loss of her daughter during the pandemic, how God used the message of “Calm My Anxious Heart” to...

#441: Understanding God’s Heart for Food and Freedom

Are you ready to end that toxic relationship in your life — your love-hate relationship with food? No more...

#440: Why Don’t Christians Like to Talk About the Real, Hard Stuff in Life?

Are Christians a prickly audience when it comes to sharing our brokenness and pain? Let's change that. Join Juli and...

Webinar: How to Use Your Power to Build Intimacy

What do you do if your husband refuses to get a job? When you don't like the way he's parenting the kids? How do you know when you've become a controlling or manipulative wife? God has given you a powerful influence in the life of your husband - but you have to learn...

#436: Friendship Trends Gone Wrong? (How to Keep Your Friendships Healthy)

Boundaries are a tricky part of friendship. Friends help us meet legitimate needs for companionship, spiritual growth,...

#435: What’s the Most Important Thing the Bible Says About Your Identity?

"The journey of the Christian life is that God has increasingly more of me." - Dr. Juli Slattery Juli and Hannah talk about sexual...

#434: Is Sexual Sin More Than Just Your Behavior?

If you are a Christian, you are a new creation—the old has gone and all things have become new. As new creations in Christ, what...

Webinar Series: Sex & the Single Christian, Pt 1

What Kind Of a Gift Is Sexuality if I Can't Have Sex? Part 1 in this webinar series A fan-favorite "Java with Juli" guest, The Boundless Show's Lisa Anderson, steps in as co-host to help Juli unpack why your sexuality doesn't have an on/off switch called "marriage."...

#433: Can You Be Gay and Follow Jesus? with Greg Coles

Greg Coles shares why he doesn't love the controversy surrounding the title of his book Single, Gay, Christian, yet why he's...

#432: Unraveling the Threads of Racism & “Love Addiction” in My Story

Why did I have sex with him again? Why can't I stop this masturbation addiction? Why can't I get this fantasy out of my head? Are...

#428: Don’t Say That to Your Single Friends (Say This Instead)

It happens. Despite good intentions, perhaps without realizing it, you say something careless to a single friend. You've got time....

Prioritize Sexual Intimacy by Getting Your Body Ready, Part 2

Much of my work in helping people navigate sexual issues revolves around how we think about sex. Your thought life, and your understanding of God and sex, are very important to your sex life. However, the basic truth is this: you can’t have sex without a body. Sex,...

#425: Bonus! How To Build Community & Friendships with Intention and Grace

Feeling stuck in your friendships? You're not alone! As the seasons of life change, our friendships don't always keep up. If you're...

#424: A 54-Year Friendship That Broke Through Cross-Cultural Barriers

Their friendship defied the odds. In the late 60s, in the South, these men weren’t supposed to become friends. Yet, with Jesus as...

#422: How to Care for Both Women and Children in the Wake of the Dobbs Decision

Do you know that God’s heart is for both women and their unborn children, and don’t know where you fit in the pro-life/pro-choice...

#420: Bonus! What Redemption and Sexual Intimacy Look Like in Real Life

Sex was nothing like what they were told it was going to be. She felt pain. He felt guilt. Together, they're on a journey toward...

#419: Why Sexual Intimacy is About So Much More Than Just Having Sex

Are you working from the wrong understanding of what makes a great sex life? Find out in this...

How To Go From Demand and “Duty Sex” to True Sexual Intimacy

As Roy and Stacy listened to their pastor teach on I Corinthians 7, they began to shift uncomfortably in their seats. “Paul is saying here that a wife is to meet her husband’s sexual needs. If she doesn’t, he may be tempted to seek sex outside of their relationship.”...

How To Help Little Ones Celebrate How God Made Their Bodies

We're happy to welcome Francie Winslow back to the blog. You can learn more from Francie at her website. I was cuddled up with my youngest son on the couch when the well-known cartoon “Blues Clues” popped up on the screen. Along with flashy colors came a classic tune,...

#415: How To Encourage and Celebrate the Single Mom in Your Life

God's promise of provision for the single mom is also a call to body of Christ. In this episode, Michelle Donnelly...

#414: Good Marriages Often Get Off to a Rocky Start (& Why It’s OK)

Even good marriages can get off to a rocky start. In this episode, Ray and Robyn McKelvy, now married over 30 years, share their...

#410: Sexual Abuse in Marriage and How To Help a Hurting Wife

Sexual abuse in marriage... wait. What? Doesn't the Bible say a spouse "has authority" over the other's body? Let's talk practically...

#408: Science Offers Kids a Powerful Reason To Say No to Porn

If teens understood the significant impact of porn on their brains, on their relationships, and porn's link to human trafficking,...

#407: Masturbation: The No. 1 Question You’re Asking Us!

There's more to the masturbation conversation than simply "right" or "wrong." Could masturbation be an issue of spiritual maturity...

#406: Every Couple Has a Sexual Dance. What Does Yours Say About You?

Sex therapist Dr. Mike Sytsma says that when a couple tells him how they kiss or how they make love, he can tell them...

Webinar: Making Sense of God & Sex, Live Q&A

How do I bring God my heartache over the fact that my daughter is living in a same-sex relationship? Why does God care if my husband and I are having sex or not? Does God really expect me to give up sex, even if I never marry? When you wrestle with sexual pain or...

#405: How To Be Broken and Used by God (At the Same Time)

Cory Morgan joins Juli to share how his brokenness became an opportunity to bring others alongside him on the journey toward sexual integrity.

#395: How to Be Intentional to Care For Your Mental Health & Wellness

One in 3 Americans report experiencing symptoms of clinical depression. How about you? In this conversation, Dr. Juli Slattery and...

#394: Debt-free in the Bedroom: How To Heal From Sexual Pain

Have you experienced sexual trauma? Were you betrayed in marriage? Are there sexual choices from your past that...

#390: Have You Given Up On Sexual Enjoyment and Pleasure?

Are you resigned to the idea that God must have created sex for your husband, but not for you? Juli and her guest, Dr. Debra Taylor,...

Bonus! #384: Do You Empower Your Husband or Enable Him? (The Difference is BIG)

Nobody said marriage would be easy. It takes great courage, strength and self-control to be the woman God has called you to be in...

#383: What Do I Do With Disappointment in Marriage?

Have you tried to "fix" problems in your marriage, only to end up feeling distant? Disappointment is common...

#382: Why We’re Not Afraid to Ask Hard Questions About Sex & Christianity

If you feel the pressure to believe that Christians are close-minded and a growing minority, you’re in for an encouraging surprise....

#379: Is Your Love Life All That You Want It To Be?

Is this really all there is? If you’ve ever felt this way about your sex life, you’re not alone. In this...

#377: How to Care For a Friend (Or Yourself) When the Marriage Doesn’t Survive

Marriages don’t always survive the tough stuff. God still moves. Wounds heal. Addicts find sobriety. Forgiveness is extended. Life...

#376: What Does God’s Word Actually Say About Divorce and Remarriage?

Friends, please note that we don't go into detail about how to recognize abuse in marriage. We have other conversations about...

#375: Juli & Jackie on How To Pursue Unity While Standing on Truth

The mics stayed on for more with Jackie Hill Perry. In this unique after-the-show episode, Juli and Jackie share how they’ve...

#373: How We Beat a Porn Addiction in Our (Millennial) Marriage

When Clinton and Charity Muñoz sought help to overcome a porn addiction, Clinton was told to memorize more...

#372: How To Recognize Domestic Abuse

Wearing sunglasses on rainy days. Using turtlenecks to hide choke marks. Running. Hiding. Ramona Probasco never thought she would do...

Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 2

Overcoming Physical Barriers to Pleasure Part 2 in this webinar series Meet Dr. Carol Tanksley, OB-GYN. She has over 28 years of experience and a passion help women understand how their bodies are integrated with their minds, spirits, and emotions. In this webinar,...

Webinar Series: Sexual Pleasure: How To Get Your Mind and Body to Work Together, Pt 1

The Priority of Mutual Pleasure in Healthy Sex Part 1 in this webinar series Juli and Dr. Debra Taylor, a certified Christian sex therapist, discuss the importance of pleasure within the larger picture of sexual intimacy, and how the pleasure we experience during sex...

Webinar Series: 3 Conversations To Help You Heal From Sexual Trauma, Pt 3

From Sexual Trauma to Sexual Intimacy (It Takes Two) Part 3 in this webinar series In this final conversation, Juli talks with Matt Gutbrod, a sexual abuse survivor, and his wife, Victoria, a marriage and family therapist, about how couples can practice empathy and...

Webinar Series: 3 Conversations To Help You Heal From Sexual Trauma, Pt 2

What Is Sexual Trauma & How Does It Affect You? Part 2 in this webinar series If you're in Florida, find Aline-Vanya Guillaume at TherapyTerrace.com Sexual Trauma & It's Effect On Marriage an article by Aline-Vanya Guillaume, LPSW Unwanted by Jay...

Webinar Series: 3 Conversations To Help You Heal From Sexual Trauma, Pt 1

Your Abuse Story: How To Tell, What To Tell, & Why It Matters Part 1 in this webinar series Juli Slattery and Dawn Scott Damon talk about the reasons we don't share our abuse stories. We can be accused of lying or exaggerating. We're met with silence. Our pain is...

#365: How To Create a Language That Brings Meaning to Your Lovemaking

How long would you like foreplay to last? How important is it to have an orgasm every time we have sex? Complete this sentence:...

#364: How to Work Your Way Back to Sexual Intimacy After Infidelity

After sexual infidelity, how do you know when to start having sex again? Recovery is layered, complex, and different...

#361: Hey Momma! Learn How To Share the “Birds & Bees” with Your Littles

We know. It’s hard to imagine talking to your sweet three or four-year-old about sex. And here’s the thing: you don’t have to. What...

#355: How Apologetics Helps Kids Engage the Culture & Keep Their Faith

Don't tell your kids what to think about sex, teach them HOW to think about sex. Don't give them a list of...

Bonus! #92: When the Woman You Love Was Abused

It’s been proven that the effects of childhood abuse follow us into adulthood. Memories, anxiety, and feelings of shame can leave women overwhelmed with emotions they don’t understand—and their husbands equally confused! In this episode, Juli sits down with Dawn Scott Damon, author of When a Woman You Love Was Abused, to share wisdom and insight for husbands, helping them to love their wives well through the journey of recovery and healing.

#352: How Purity Culture and Ravi Zacharias’ Abuse of Power Challenge Our Faith

Juli Slattery and Asheritah Ciuciu sit down for a conversation about the shortcomings of purity culture, the recent...

#351: Why Our Churches Need To Do Better at Valuing the Voices of Women

The women of the Bible have a lot to teach us. Their voices often give us the story behind the story—take Ruth for example, or the...

#349: Bonus! You CAN Find Love Online. We’ll Help You Look

“I love online dating,” said no one ever. But if 1 in 5 committed relationships today began online, is it worth a try? In this...

#346: How to Cope When Your Spouse Struggles With Depression

When you’re married, depression is a shared experience. There is no way to escape the impact of sharing a home...

#343: Forgiving What You Can’t Forget

Lysa TerKeurst tells Juli about the brokenness and restoration of her marriage and how forgiveness is both a decision...

#329: Addressing Tough Questions About Identity and Sexuality

Theology meets real life in this episode of Java with Juli! We’re asking the difficult questions about identity and sexuality: Why...

#328: Answers to Your Questions About Pornography

"Will I cause a set-back in my husband’s recovery if I say no to sex?" "My daughter talks to me about her porn addiction, but...

#327: When Your Spouse Feels More Like a Roommate

Every couple experiences times of disconnection, but when your spouse begins to feel more like a roommate than a lover, it’s easy to...

#326: Gen Z and Gender Identity

Few ideas have changed more rapidly than the way our culture perceives gender. The idea that you can choose your gender (some cite...

#323: Getting Over Our Fear of Opposite-Sex Friendships

Was Jesus a bit aloof with Martha and Mary because He didn’t want them to think there was, you know,...

#70: Stepping up as a Stepmom

Being a stepmom is one of the hardest roles a woman can take on. Because, let's be honest: you fell in love with your husband, you...

#319: Is Good Sex a “Right” in Marriage?

Juli and Hannah sit down for a candid conversation about whether or not it's possible to have a good, Christian marriage and not be...

#314: You, Your Brain, and Your Family Can Heal from Porn

How I get rid of the images that keep popping up in my mind? How can I rebuild trust with my husband when access to...

#313: The Greatest Love Story

From beginning to end the Bible tells a story about marriage. Woven through chapter and verse is a story of covenant...

#312: Born Again This Way: Rachel’s Story

This may sound like a conversation about being a gay Christian, and it is. But more importantly, it's a...

Parenting Through Weakness

Dear Juli, I’m the mom of two teenage girls. I know I need to talk to them about sex but honestly, I don’t know where to begin. My sex life is a mess. My husband and I have relied on porn in our marriage for years. I have abuse in my past that I’ve never dealt with. I...

#309: Getting Rid of the Mommy Guilt

The goal of motherhood is not to raise a perfect child. The goal isn't even to raise a Jesus-loving child. (Yep, you read that...

Predictability and Passion Can Improve a Boring Sex Life

If you are married, there is a very good chance that you and your spouse have different sexual appetites. This not only applies to how often you want to have sex, but also to how adventurous you would each like to be in the bedroom. A healthy sex life has aspects of...

#308: Maintaining Your Smartphone Sanity

Who wants to pay $100 a month to have door-slamming, ruin-the-family-dinner arguments with your teen like clockwork? No one. But...

#307: On the Brink of Divorce

Susan Cox sat in church, a hotel room key in her purse, and an ongoing affair pushing her to leave her marriage for good. She was...

COVID-19 y pornografía: Una salida rápida, pero no una solución

Desde el inicio de COVID-19, la industria de la pornografía ha experimentado un aumento masivo en el tráfico de sitios web. El 24 de marzo, un sitio importante anunció que su contenido premium sería gratuito para todos los visitantes, lo que resultó en un aumento...

#301: Staying Connected With the Next Generation

When you hear "generational gap," do you think: about your mother, who can't understand your parenting...

Webinar: Pornography: Help for Spouses & Parents

The desires that lead to sexual addiction are not wrong. Men and women who find themselves caught up in porn, reading books like Fifty Shades of Grey, or in a sexual chat room got there because their healthy God-given desires have been twisted. We are supposed to...

#300: Christians Struggle with Sexual Addiction Too

Did you know that 68% of Christian men struggle with unwanted sexual behavior? That 25% of Christian women use sex to hide a deeper...

#298: Bonus! Sexual Identity is Big, Identity As a Child of God is Bigger

In this episode, Juli continues her conversation with Laurence Koo. Join them as they discuss the tension created when so much of...

#296: An Insider’s Story of Human Trafficking

Have you ever wondered why U.S. trafficking victims don’t just run? Do you feel compassion for child victims, but...

#295: We All “Desconstruct,” It’s Reconstructing that Matters

Questions about sexuality, sexual abuse, and gender have sent a new wave of “deconstructing” throughout the...

#294: When You Want Sex, But Your Spouse Doesn’t

In every marriage, there is typically one partner with a higher sexual drive. And that person is usually trying to convince the...

#289: How to Choose Unity (Even When You Disagree)

Juli and her guests discuss their reactions to John MacArthur's recent comments about women teaching the Bible. Join us for a...

#288: Max Lucado Says #MeToo

Max Lucado has never pretended to be something he’s not. The beloved author and pastor has always been open about his struggles. But...

#285: Loving Without Compromise

Yes, you can love a gay or lesbian friend without trying to change them. Sadly, many in the LGBT+ community feel shamed by...

#283: I Was the Abuser

Are you, or someone you love, a recovering sex offender? If so, this conversation is for you. In this...

Breaking Free from Sexual Addiction

Sometimes I joke about things I am "addicted" to. Coffee and dark chocolate are definitely on the list. Honestly, we are all addicted to something—there are things in life we just can't seem to get by without. You may be addicted to your husband's affection, a daily...

#279: Why You Feel Shame When Your Spouse Cheats

A betrayed spouse often feels as much (or more) shame as their partner. In this episode Juli welcomes Dr. Sheri...

#277: Children, Teens, and Sexual Abuse

Child sexual abuse can happen anywhere and predators are typically someone a child already trusts. If your child is...

#276: Parenthood, Exhaustion & Avoiding Sex

She's a busy and tired mama. He's stressed to the max with work and family. Can't they just put sex and...

How Do We Tell Good From Evil?

Is it wrong to live together before marriage? Does gender really matter? Is it wrong to support gay marriage? These are the types of questions that we often get asked at Authentic Intimacy. Perhaps more than ever, many Christians are confused about right and wrong....

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