What does it look and feel like to live in the tension of the weakness of your flesh when you have lengthy and ongoing struggles?
Authentic Intimacy
Q&A: Is God Okay With Me Having Sex With Someone I Love Even If We Are Not Married?
What God think about sex outside of marriage?
#472 Embracing Grief: Why We Need to Connect Sadness, Gratitude, and Celebration
It can often be tempting to push through the uncomfortable feelings that come with loss and try to just keep calm and carry on. But is that what we’re called to as followers of Christ? If Christ Himself took time to grieve, shouldn’t we?
Dr Greg and Erin Smalley join Juli on this episode of Java with Juli as they discuss the need to face and make sense of our pain so we can embrace real joy.
#471 How to Understand, Celebrate, and Leverage Neurological Differences in Relationships
There are always differences in relationships – differences in culture, differences in family of origin, differences in communication and conflict style – but what if you and someone you love just think differently? The thing is, while we may live in a world designed for neurotypical people, the world is full of people who are neurodivergent; those of us who process, learn, experience and interact with the world in ways not considered typical.
#465 Love Dares: Using Playfulness to Build Sexual Intimacy
If you’re a husband or wife who finds sex dull or monotonous, it may be time for you to revisit the way God designed marital sex. The truth is that God desires for you to enjoy building sexual intimacy with your spouse, not just endure it. In this podcast episode, Juli and guest Dr. Jennifer Degler talk about how God gives the gift of sexual play to couples, and the practical (and fun!) ways you can connect with your spouse.
#461 Pride, Lust, and Why We Do Things We Don’t Want To Do
Juli Slattery and Jonathan Pokluda tackle tough questions about how to find freedom from the sin that we hate, the difference between regret and self condemnation, and how the gospel is good news for all of us.
#459 How Sexual Abuse Affects You (And Why God Is Still Trustworthy)
“What happened to me wasn’t rape.” “I didn’t stop it right away.” “I shouldn’t have been at that party in the first place.”
If you’ve ever had thoughts like these, about yourself or someone else, your definition of sexual abuse is too narrow. Join us to learn what sexual abuse is and what consent isn’t. (And, if you’ve never been a victim of sexual assault, trust us, you know someone who has. This conversation is for you, too.)
#458 Why Women Are Leaving the Church (And How To Find Your Way Back)
In the last ten years, some 16 million women have stopped going to church. Are you one of them? Join us for a conversation about why we’ve been rethinking church—and why it may be time for you to go back.
Help! I’m in a Sexless Marriage!
My husband and I haven’t had sex in two years. The drought began after I had our third child. I’ve never really enjoyed sex. I was always tired, and I just didn’t think it was worth the effort anymore. Now, we don’t even talk about it. My wife and I got married about...
#457 How To Build a Flourishing (not Flawless) Sex Life You’ll Both Love
Take the guess work out of your sex life and learn how to tell (or show) your spouse what feels good in the bedroom.
#456 Overcoming Father Wounds: Trading My Pain for God’s Perfect Love
Kia Stephens knows many women (like herself) who looked to the arms of other men for the affirmation they longed to receive from their fathers. You’ll love her humor, wisdom, and vulnerability as she shares how she traded the pain of what her earthly father couldn’t give her for the perfect love of her heavenly Father.
#455 How God Changed My Heart (Even After I Changed My Gender) with Laura Smalts
For most of her childhood, Laura wanted to be a boy. In her 20s, she began hormone therapy, had surgery and lived as Jake for nine years. But she could never quite shake the feeling that none of it was real. “I remember looking at the photo on my driver’s license and saying, ‘I’m not as happy as I think I am.'” In this episode, Laura shares her remarkable story of desperation, hope and transformation.
#453 Teens Are Anxious, Sad and Lonely. Here’s How You Can Help
Teen girls and LGBQ+ youth are experiencing more sadness, hopelessness, and violence than ever before. Join Juli and Dr. Mark Mayfield, an expert in suicide prevention, to learn what you can do to help the teens in your life feel seen, loved, and valued.
#450 Breaking the Marriage Idol
We’re just gonna to say it. There’s an unspoken assumption in the Church that if you’re single there must something wrong with you—and that marriage can fix it. Are you guilty of having this thought? Join the conversation about how we’ve idolized marriage and how we can do better.
#449 How to Guide Your Kids Through Confusing Messages About Gender
Juli and her guest share wisdom and encouragement to help you give clear answers to your kids’ questions about their gender and the way God created them.
#409: Divorce & Remarriage (Abuse, Infidelity, Porn & All the Hard Things)
God's word is clear on marriage; but some of us are a little fuzzy on the divorce and remarriage part. What exactly does "sexual...
#404: How To Help Your Kids Think About Sex From a Christian Worldview
Hillary Ferrer, co-author of Mama Bear Apologetics Guide to Sexuality, joins Juli to talk about how to teach your kids a biblical view of sex.
#397: How To Help Families Navigate Questions About Gender Identity
Juli continues her conversation with Dr. Mark Yarhouse about how parents can stay close to a child who is questioning his or her...
#396: Diverse Gender Identities: How To See the People Behind the Issue
Why are so many teens suddenly coming out as trans or non binary? Juli welcomes Dr. Mark Yarhouse to help you understand the...
#392: Want To Know Juli and Mike Better? This Is Your Episode!
Juli takes off her "author and psychologist" hat! Hannah Nitz turns the tables on Juli and Mike to hear how they met, how they...
#367: Exchange Online Distractions for Real-Life Intimacy
“To be completely honest, the first two or three days, I was shocked by classic symptoms of withdrawal. I found...
#360: Feeling Fearful? The Right Kind of Fear Leads to Bravery
When you’re feeling fearful, the last thing you need is a social media meme telling you to “tighten your ponytail and carry on.” A...
#354: How To Keep Rhythm & Romance in Your New COVID Normal
You learned to navigate close quarters, perfected family game night, and homeschooled your kids. As your community reopens, how do...
#344: Standing Strong: Tackling Fear, Self-Doubt & Insecurity
Alli Worthington says the popular message that “you are enough” is leaving women feeling overwhelmed and...
#340: We Were Wrong About Modesty
The word “modesty” makes us cringe these days, and it’s easy to understand why: For years it’s...
Webinar Series: Talking to Your Kids About Sex, Pt 3
Kids & Porn: How and When You Should Talk to Your Child About Pornography Part 3 of this webinar series From questions like, "Mommy, how will that baby get out of your tummy?" to trends on TikTok and Instagram, everyday life is rich with opportunities to connect...
Webinar Series: Talking to Your Kids About Sex, Pt 2
The Birds & Bees: How to Talk to Young Children About Sex Part 2 of this webinar series From questions like, "Mommy, how will that baby get out of your tummy?" to trends on TikTok and Instagram, everyday life is rich with opportunities to connect with your kids...
Webinar Series: Talking to Your Kids About Sex, Pt 1
Teens: Teach Them HOW, Not WHAT, to Think About Sex Part 1 in this webinar series From questions like, "Mommy, how will that baby get out of your tummy?" to trends on TikTok and Instagram, everyday life is rich with opportunities to connect with your kids and share...
#339: How to Have Hard Conversations with (Facebook) Friends
If you were standing in front of a crowd of 300 to speak, how carefully would you craft your words? Okay, so you’re actually at home...
#331: Say Goodbye to Labels
Life is tends to put labels on us. We even pin labels on ourselves. More often than not, these labels are hurtful,...
#330: Loving the Person Who Isn’t Like You
It’s easy to love the neighbor who looks like us, thinks like us, and believes like us. With those who don't fall into those...
#117: How Your Sex Life is Connected to Your Spiritual Life
An early theologian once wrote, “We know that when a couple has sexual intercourse, the Holy Spirit leaves the room.” If you were...
JWJ Listening Guide: Taking Back the Bedroom
This specially curated Java Pack is a wife’s guide to sex and intimacy. Every marriage contends with highs and lows in the bedroom. For some couples it’s a fire that’s fizzling out, while others have always struggled to find a spark. In Taking Back the Bedroom, you’ll hear some of our most popular content for understanding God’s design for sexuality within marriage.
JWJ Listening Guide: Single & Sexual
Did you know that single people are sexual? That your sexuality has nothing to do with whether or not you are having sex? As ridiculous as it sounds, many Christians grow up thinking that they will magically become sexual when they get married. In this Java Pack, Dr. Juli Slattery and her guests discuss how to embrace your sexuality, even as a single Christian committed to saving sex for marriage, and what your sexuality can teach you about yourself and about God. They’ll also dive into details on dating, friendships, community, and the Church.
#320: Bonus! Looking for the Spark in Your Marriage?
Thanks to COVID-19, you and your spouse have likely spent a lot of time together the last five months—but that doesn't necessarily...
#317: Bonus! Listen, Learn, and Give Grace (A Conversation About Race)
Are you grieved by the pain and brokenness you see in your news feed each day? We are too. God’s Word tells us that when one part of...
#315: Jamie Ivey Wants to Know the Real You
There are things we feel are acceptable to struggle with, and then there are those things we would never say out loud –especially...
Webinar: How Can God Be Good If…?
Our beliefs about sexuality begin and end with our beliefs about God. Is He trustworthy? Is His Word reliable? Why wouldn't a loving God embrace me just the way I am? In this webinar, Juli and Dr. Jo Vitale, a Christian apologist, talk about how acknowledging the...
#305: Becoming the Right Kind of Strong
The famous Proverbs 31 woman was "clothed in strength and dignity." She was strong! But perhaps not by our...
Did He Pass the Test?
This morning, I met with a group of friends to encourage each other in our marriages. As we talked, one of the women described her discouragement when her husband failed to text her during the day about something that was important to her. “He knew my sister was going...
#299: Making Marriage Fun! (Even When It’s Hard)
Marriage can be hard, but it doesn’t have to stop being fun! Arguments, grief, or even just the busyness of life...
Helping Your Husband Grow UP
We’ve written before about the growing trend of husbands who would rather play their Xbox or Nintendo Switch—or spend hours glued to ESPN, oblivious of your screaming child and leaking roof—than step into adult responsibilities. Whatever the scenario, the burden of...
Webinar: How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex
Talking about sex with your spouse is scary... especially when one (or both!) of you is disappointed, frustrated, or resentful about how things are currently. How do you have healthy conversations about sex, when every other attempt has been wrought with tension? ÊHow...
Webinar: Does Your Sex Life Have Shades of Gray?
Why are some Christians okay with sex toys, masturbation, and cohabitation while others believe it's wrong to kiss before marriage? Whether you're single or married, honoring God with your sexuality means discerning the dangers of both license and legalism in the...
Webinar: The Art of Asking Good Questions
In an era of emotionally charged politics, #MeToo, and gender identity questions, we've all witnessed, and likely experienced, how engaging with others can quickly lead to heated conversations and hurt feelings. How do we talk about difficult things in a way that BOTH...
#284: Be a Truth Teller
If you're tired of smiling on the outside while you are broken and battered on the inside, Ashley Abercrombie has a message for you...
Webinar: Addressing Tough Topics with Truth & Love
In July 2019, best-selling author Josh Harris (I Kissed Dating Goodbye) announced that he and his wife are separating. The hundreds of comments to his Instagram post mirror how Christians generally respond to difficult issues and brokenness. One person wrote,...
Drowning in Shallow Christianity
I recently met with a friend who shared openly with me about her struggles in marriage. “It’s like living with a robot! He doesn’t seem to know how to connect emotionally. Am I supposed to live the next thirty years with this man? Does God really want me to be so...
#261: Bravery Means Being the Real You
You’re braver than you think. Bravery doesn’t always mean running into a burning building. For most...
A Perfect Marriage
Mike and I recently attended a wedding. The bride was stunning, and the groom gleamed with pride. Not a dry eye in the place. Weddings are beautiful—not just because of the music, flowers, dresses, and tuxes, but also because they represent young, unblemished love....
Webinar: Overcoming Barriers in the Bedroom
Do you hate sex? Are you too tired, never in the mood, or is sex too painful? Maybe there’s too much tension in your marriage to desire any sexual intimacy with your husband. Dr. Juli Slattery will be teaching on overcoming barriers in the bedroom and sharing things...
A Secret for the Guys
Every day we hear from men who desperately want help and encouragement for their wives. Most commonly, they complain that their wives are not interested in sexual intimacy. Many of these messages end with pleas like “Help me! What can I do to help her understand my...
Webinar: Tackling Shame
One of the most common themes in the questions we receive at Authentic Intimacy is shame. What is it? Where does it come from? How do I get rid of it? Can God really forgive every sin? If so, why do I still have so much shame? In this webinar, we address these issues...
Is There Really a 7-Year Itch?
My husband and I are leading a Bible study with mostly newlywed couples. After a few weeks, we noticed how often we referred to the seven-year-something . . . itch? pit? slump? The other couples in the group started nervously teasing about what terrible blockade may...
Webinar: Tools You Need for Healthier Relationships
You have a lot of relationships in your life: parents, family, friends, colleagues, and your spouse. These relationships have huge effects on your emotional health, day to day living, and often your interaction with God. What percentage of your relationships are...
Have You Forgotten Who God Is?
In the process of teaching about biblical sexuality, I have at times taken a critical look at traditions Christians have long held as truth. For example, you may have heard a recent Java with Juli episode exploring the missteps and harmful messages of the conservative...
#241: Women Struggle With Porn Too
Do you think women don't get addicted to porn? Think again. In this episode Juli's guest shares candidly about how she became...
#239: Stop Dreading Christmas
Somewhere along the line, this "most wonderful time of the year" overwhelms us, making our souls feel both...
I Don’t Trust Myself
A few days ago, I rushed to see Toni (the lady who cuts my hair) in the middle of the work day. I got there with just a few minutes to spare after getting off a conference call. Someone else was sitting in Toni’s chair. “I’ll just wait in the lobby until you’re done,”...
Pure Sadness and a Better Way Forward
I recently read a very sad book, Pure by Linda Kay Klein. This book keeps popping up in my newsfeed which tells me that people want to talk about it. The subtitle of the book hits precisely why this book caused my heart to ache: “Inside the evangelical movement that...
Webinar: Sexuality and Parenting
How do you teach your kids about God's design and purpose for sexuality? How do you relate to your kids when today's sexual culture is so different from the sexual culture of your own childhood? During this webinar, Dr. Juli Slattery explains what it looks like to...
Your Spouse Doesn’t Complete You
When is the last time you felt disappointed by your marriage? Notice that I asked when, not if. Disappointment is a normal part of any relationship, but it hits us particularly hard in marriage. We live in a day and time when marriage is presented as an answer for...
#230: Juli & Linda Answer Your Questions About Marriage
Do you believe the Bible has answers to your questions about marriage and sexuality? We know it does! On this Java with Juli, Juli...
Webinar: Female Friendships—the Good AND the Bad
We can all agree that having female friends is a great gift in life, but why can they cause so much difficulty? Dr. Juli Slattery hosts this webinar with one of her favorite friends, Erin Smalley! These two share the value in friendship, be honest about why it can be...
#227: Couples Therapy For Intimacy Issues
Have you ever wondered whether or not you should see a sex therapist? From sexual addiction to sexual anorexia, a good therapist can...
Loving a Broken Man (Or Woman)
Gary Thomas has been a guest on Java with Juli multiple times and also joined us for our webinar "Having a Mission-Focused Marriage." He is a bestselling author and international speaker whose ministry brings people closer to Christ and closer to others. He unites the...
#48: My Controlling Spouse
If you are fearful or hesitant to share your true thoughts with your spouse, you may be in an unhealthy pattern with a controlling spouse. What are the red flags, and how can you change things? Very few couples know how to address this issue, but it can be a fatal...
Webinar: Sex Talk in Your Marriage: Conversations Every Couple Should Be Having
You can read books on how to have "the talk" with your kids, but do you have the talk in your marriage? We believe that conversations around sexuality should not just take place when there is a problem or you are figuring out when to have sex. In this webinar, Dr....
#225: How To Find the Right Guy
There is no magic formula to find a great husband, but there are decisions you can make today that will help you...
Webinar: Rethinking Sexuality: God’s Design and Why It Matters
We believe every Christian needs to be equipped with a Biblical understanding of sexuality. Not just, "Don't do it until your married,"but a full, practical, and Biblical narrative that we know, live out, and teach others. Dr. Juli Slattery invites you to join her for...
#221: Conversations You Should Be Having About Money
How important is it for us to get out of debt? Should we give to our church? Where is the balance between having faith...
#224: Sexuality & Surrender
Laurie daily submits her same-sex sexuality to the Lordship of Christ while married to her best friend, Matt. ...
#223: Counseling: When & Why You Should Go
Marriage counseling sounds intimidating... and expensive. So why should you go? (Surely you can sort things out...
The “Why” for Every Question About Sexuality
When children reach the age of two, they begin asking a question they never stop asking. Why? If you are parenting a young child, you are faced with endless why questions. Why do I have to go to bed so early? Why do I have to eat brussel sprouts? Why do you have to go...
#216: BONUS! Do You Have an Agenda?
Relationships are tricky. Loving others well takes intentionality. It’s hard to watch our friends, co-workers, or kids make sexual...
#213: Sexuality & the Conversations the Church Forgot
Ready or not, the body of Christ needs and wants to have conversations about sex. Are you equipped? On this Java with...
#206: BONUS! Rebel Parenting
Ryan Dobson admits he was a rebellious kid. These days, as a husband and father, he’s a different kind of rebel....
#212: Female Friendships Are Complicated
Has a friend ever told you she needs a break from you? Do you make friends fast and lose them quickly? It’s no secret that women...
#210: Enjoying Intimacy in Your Golden Years
It’s no secret that aging changes us. Our bodies don’t work the way they used to. Sex doesn’t work the way it used to. What once happened easily is now difficult and awkward. Is it time to close the chapter on sex? Not so fast! Join Juli and her guests as they...
Does Your Husband Need Sex?
Until recently, it has been part of the Christian marriage narrative that men need sex. Christian marriage books over the decades have repeatedly claimed that sex is a primary need for guys in marriage. In many marriages (but not all), husbands would eagerly nod their...
#208: The Forgiveness & Intimacy Link
Have you ever sabotaged a relationship because you think you deserve to be unhappy? Are you bitter toward a spouse who has already...
#207: Making Motherhood Meaningful
Hey moms, do you feel like you’re missing out on life while staying at home with kids? Are you exhausted, unsure of yourself, or...
#204: Managing Your Expectations in Marriage
Once I am married I’ll always feel loved. I’ll never be lonely. Sex will be fantastic because I waited....
Learning to Say “I Was Wrong”
If you are old enough to recall the sitcom Happy Days, you’ll remember “The Fonz.” Henry Winkler played the character of Arthur Fonzarelli, the coolest guy in town. The Fonz in his leather jacket and perfect hair could get all the ladies with the snap of his fingers....
#200: Listening So People Will Talk
The call to be a good listener comes straight from Jesus: in order to feel loved, people have to feel heard. Great...
When Your Kids Look At Porn
As the mom of three sons, there are days I wish I could be parenting in a different era… one in which cell phones did not exist and comic books were more common than pornography. Yet we do not choose the time and place which God inserts us into history. Pornography...
Webinar: Spicing Up Your Sex Life
Do you know that God's desire is for you and your husband to experience great pleasure in your sex life? Many couples settle for "vanilla" sex for years (aka the missionary position), placing self-imposed restrictions on themselves that have nothing to do with God's...
#194: Enjoying Date Nights With Your Spouse
Regardless of how long you’ve been married, date nights are still important! In this episode of Java with Juli, Juli talks with Dr....
#192: Engaging in Restorative Relationships
We are wounded in relationships with others, and it only makes sense that relationships are also where our healing will...
#191: Understanding Your Teenager’s Brain
Modern science has allowed us to see exactly what is going on inside the adolescent brain, and what we see can help YOU...
Another Reminder That Something is Wrong
Several months ago, I got really sick. I was in bed for days with a high fever and chills, a deep cough, and no appetite. I gave the illness several days to run its course, treating my symptoms with Tylenol and cough medicine. When I didn’t get better, my husband took...
#2: Unleashing the Power of Woman
What’s the difference between having power or being controlling in marriage? How do you have influence...
What If I Hate Sex?
"I hate sex. It makes me angry to hear you even suggest that I’m supposed to be enjoying it. I’ve been married twenty-three years...
What If I Want Sex More Than My Husband Does?
I get asked this a lot. A woman often sheepishly approaches me at an event and says, “I’m one of those women you talked about who has a higher sex drive than my husband. What should I do?” Because women in this situation defy the stereotype, they sometimes feel shame...
#184: Authentic Intimacy Prepared Me for Marriage
We love hearing your stories. The excitement that flows from the heart of a woman who has been changed by God is...
Why the Word “Purity” is Cringy
My teenage sons have recently introduced me to a new word… “cringy.” It’s how they describe my attempts to dance and many of my lame puns. But it’s also the word many would associate with the term “sexual purity.” As a ministry, we’ve shied away from teaching about...
#181: What Is the “Price” of Sex?
Birth control, pornography, online dating –according to our guest on this Java with Juli, all of these technologies...
Webinar: How to Love Your Prodigal Child
Join Hannah Nitz as she sits down with Lori Wildenberg & Dr. Juli Slattery to talk about how to love your prodigal child. Lori is a mother who recognized her daughter's gender confusion early on. Despite many prayers and conversations, her daughter now leads a...
#58: Lessons From a Former Prostitute
Angel lived a life of prostitution and drugs on the streets of Akron, Ohio. Her life changed the day she met Becky, a woman who...
Webinar: Fighting Porn in Your Marriage
A recent survey revealed that approximately 85% of men interact with pornographic material on a monthly basis. With that statistic, we know that means porn has made it's way into many of our marriages. Pornography is killing our intimacy, and its widespread use and...