My guest on the blog today is my favorite human, Zack Skarka! After I shared my struggle with body image, I invited Zack to tell his side of the story too. If you need to share this blog with your husband, please know that I'll be praying for you! Ask God for wisdom,...
As I stood in front of the mirror, I counted the number of scars displayed across my stomach, splattered across my belly like a toddler with a crayon. How could I ever feel beautiful again, let alone sexy? My thoughts were interrupted as my husband came up behind me...
I’ll never be able to kick porn for good! I hate sex. I’ll never be able to enjoy it with my husband. I’m damaged beyond repair. I can’t have a great sex life if I don’t have a beautiful body. Have thoughts like these ever crossed your mind? If so, where do you think...
Over the past several months, many of you have messaged our team here at Authentic Intimacy asking for my opinion on a recent book or controversy within the Christian community. Most recently, people want my opinion on the new film adaptation of Redeeming Love. You...
Our sexuality is not an isolated part of who we are, but an integrated aspect of what it means to be created in God’s image and loved by Him. Our sexual questions and pain points connect with our deepest longings and fears. It’s impossible to grapple with our sexuality without also confronting our foundational beliefs about God. Is He good? Is He trustworthy? Does He see me?
This question is where it all begins for me: Can I really trust God with everything, including my sexuality? (Presione aquí para leer en español) I still picture myself in my room that night, tossing and turning, overwhelmed by the anguish in my soul. Gripping the...
A book release. Normally this would be an exciting event. It’s kind of like giving birth to a child that you have nurtured in your womb for nine months. As this one approaches, my excitement is honestly mixed with trepidation. Over twenty years ago, I wrote my first...
Are you dating someone and wondering if the red flags you see are reason enough to break up with him or her? Do your friends and family have concerns about the relationship? If you feel in your heart that something is just not right, don’t ignore it. It might be the...
This is part three of a three-part series from Juli's book Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited. As recently as a few decades ago, many Christian women believed that in order to be loving wives they had to limit their own personal potential. Loving and...
This is part two of a three-part series from, "Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited.”* A wife’s greatest dilemma is that you want your husband to lead, but you want him to lead the way you tell him to. There is a tension between desperately wanting to...
The first in a 3-part series from "Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited."* Author Margo Kaufman once wrote, “The only thing worse than a man you can’t control is a man you can.” I’ve experienced this bind. Have you? I desperately want to build the hero in my...
Here’s a little secret I learned a few years into marriage: I didn’t know if I really loved Mike until I felt no feelings of love toward him. The sense of “feeling love” had to fade away for me to be able to learn how to really love my husband. My friend, and this...
“Shame on you!” If you grew up in my generation, this is a sentence you probably heard as a child. You were told that you should be ashamed of the way you treated your sister, for stealing that candy bar, or for talking back. These are also words that I’ve probably...
We invited John Fort, the director of training at Be Broken Ministries, to be our guest writer for this article. John has many years of experience in sexual addiction recovery, both personally and professionally. He is also the author of Honest Talk: A New Perspective...
In the midst of my guilt and shame, frustration filled my mind. “I can’t believe I sinned… again. Does God hate me for my addiction? Will I ever find freedom?” Countless men and women I’ve talked to have asked similar questions. What are you supposed to do when you...
True confessions... I don't love Christmas. I didn't say I hate Christmas; I just don't love it. My ambivalence around this holiday has developed over time. Too many years of disappointment when a family member's illness cancelled our celebration and all the best...
I’m in my-mid forties, divorced, and lonely. I love God and want to follow His plan for sex and marriage, but I just can’t find a man who is willing to share that journey with me. I’m not the naive young woman “saving sex for marriage” like I was in my twenties. I’m...
*Trigger warning, mention of assault and trauma. This past spring, I spent 30 nights alone in the hospital without my loving husband by my side. One night, as I laid in my hospital bed, I thought back on the decision I made to marry him. Little did I know how my...
(Presione aquí para leer en español.) Whenever I speak to a group of people about sexuality, I try to include time for an anonymous Q&A session. No matter who is listening, young or old, male or female, married or single, I am sure to be asked...
*The two-part blog series we’re kicking off this week is a sneak peak into what Dr. Juli Slattery has been working on ... a complete rewrite of her book Finding the Hero in Your Husband. Stay tuned for updates on when it will be released in 2021!* In my...
Household chores represent probably the most pressing “minor issue” in marriage for a lot of couples because it’s a conflict that never goes away. Every day, someone has to do the dishes, take out the trash, do laundry, cook dinner, and clean the sink. There’s no...
Tina and I met together for counseling several years ago to work through some traumatic experiences from her past. A year after our work together was done, Tina came in for a “check up.” She shared with me that within that year, she had undergone surgery, radiation,...
Have you ever faced a difficult season only to have friends tell you to trust in God? While you know their advice is right, it doesn’t seem very practical. What does it actually look like to trust in God through trials and discouragement? David faced almost every...
Sometimes what is happening in the world overwhelms my “to do” list. Today feels like one of those days. This blog post isn’t about intimacy, relationships, or sexuality. It’s about the brokenness we all see all around us. As children and teenagers, our spiritual and...
In case you haven’t heard, Fifty Shades of Grey was recently named the best-selling book of the decade. When I saw this come through my newsfeed, my first thought was, “Here we go again…” I’m quite certain that we will have another round of debates about the...
After a long day of taking care of three little boys, cooking, cleaning, and juggling work responsibilities, I had reached the “finish line.” It was my time to rest. I ignored the subtle flirtations of my husband, Mike, hoping he would get the hint that I was not in...
This summer I’ve been in my “writing cave”, spending countless hours finishing my next book about sexual discipleship, called Rethinking Sexuality. (The message of this book is challenging Christians to be grounded in biblical truth and equipping them to surrender...
I just read a book by Dr. Lisa Wade called American Hookup which describes the sexual culture on college campuses. Sexual activity has been so severed from relationship that kids “hooking up” are discouraged from even talking to the person they just had sex with. One...
“He slurps his soup, bites his fingernails and always leaves his dirty clothes on the floor. I expected the relational challenges of marriage, but my biggest problem is that I can barely stand to be in the same room with the man!” I wonder how many marriages are...
Endless romance. Hot sex. Being best-best-best-best friends. These are just some of the idealistic hopes we pile onto marriage. There are good motivations behind each of these hopes, but let's just be real. It's probably not all going to happen. Though it is a...
Recently, a newly wed friend asked me this question. “What’s the purpose of marriage? Sometimes I think of it as free sex and housekeeping. Is marriage just an arrangement of living off my husband financially in exchange for taking care of a home and making meals?”...
Christmas shopping for my husband is always a challenge. He's a particular guy. He takes hours to pick out a gym bag and days to choose a watch. On my own, I never get it right. He's also the kind of guy who usually buys what he needs and doesn't wait for Christmas....
For some, this Christmas is anything but merry. Empty chairs where a loved one once sat, the loss of a job and no presents under the...
Whenever I write a blog on a controversial sexual issue, I typically hear from people who remind me that God says not to judge other people. Whether I’m teaching about pornography, Fifty Shades of Grey, living together outside of marriage, divorce or homosexuality,...
"Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart." How true we find this scripture to be when we honestly consider...
When we think about the holidays, we tend to dread the busyness and added stress that can frustrate intimacy in marriage. Most couples argue about bills, relatives and crazy calendars once mid-November hits. Instead of allowing this to happen in your marriage, I’d...
Your coworker is getting a little too friendly with a man who is not her husband. A member of your Bible study is living with her...
Before we even get into discussing whether something is right or wrong in the bedroom, I want to emphasize that God’s desire is for you and your husband to experience great pleasure! His standards are not to limit your enjoyment, but to heighten it. I think many Christian couples have no idea what freedom they have in the bedroom. They settle for “vanilla” sex (aka, the missionary position), placing self-imposed restrictions on themselves that have nothing to do with God’s perspective. God made the marriage relationship a safe place for a husband and wife to explore, experiment, laugh, and get lost in sensational sex.
Did you know you have a story to share? Your story may be one of incredible redemption. Or it...
When you think you’ve heard it all… I recently saw an article predicting that having sex with robots will be commonplace within the next decade. Tech manufacturers are working feverishly to create robotic sex partners with the ability to program a person’s emotional...
The stereotype of an adulterous affair in marriage has typically been the picture of a cheating husband. The man has a one-night stand on a business trip or falls in love with his secretary. I guess it never occurred to us that for every cheating man, there must also...
Have you ever read a portion of the Bible that gave you pause? As you read, you thought, “That doesn’t seem to square with what I think about God.” This has happened to me many times reading the Old Testament prophets or the book of Revelation, but I also have that...
Over the past few weeks, we’ve heard from a few of you that are frustrated that we talk so much about what men need in marriage. Several of our recent podcasts and last week’s webinar have been about helping you understand your husband’s needs and...
I call them the “flannelgraph lessons” — the Bible stories I first heard in Sunday school. The story of the Good Samaritan rates right up there with David and Goliath and Jonah and the great fish. Isn’t if funny (or sad) that we can hear these famous biblical stories...
Secrets, lies, betrayal and adultery. Young love and marriage. These are all things that make a perfect television drama, but the...
Join two long-time, like-minded friends who admire one another and who both have a role to play in our emerging culture. Dr. James...
Everyone’s idea of “happiness” in marriage means something different, but is “happiness” the right goal? Happiness doesn’t come...
I can remember being a teenager, babysitting at my sister’s house. On her nightstand, she had a book about sex. I was intrigued . . . I was curious! I would never have admitted that to anyone back then, but in the privacy of her house I looked through the book. Asking...
He spends hours a day playing Call Of Duty, can’t make a decision, and throws a temper tantrum when he doesn’t get his way. He may be over six feet tall and intimidating to a stranger, but he still behaves like he’s 15. Does this describe your husband? If so, you’re...
I can remember the day vividly – my invitation to motherhood. Mike and I were visiting his brother and sister-in-law in Madison, Wisconsin and I was feeling more exhausted than normal. I was a few days “late” but we were using birth control, so surely I couldn’t be...
Women often ask me about how much of your past is healthy to share in intimate relationships. How much does a potential husband need to know about your sexual experiences and struggles? How much should he tell you? This is one of those issues that relationship coaches...
Our guest today is Francie Winslow. Francie hosts the weekly Heaven in Your Home podcast where she offers fresh, biblical ways of thinking about married sex and what it reveals to us about God. We just endured a brutally exhausting Christmas break. We had high...
Your social media feed is probably filled with examples of the latest person who has been “cancelled” because of something they said years ago or an unpopular position they recently expressed. Being cancelled is a weapon powerful enough to prompt teens to take their...
Sex and love. They are supposed to go together, right? To hear some people talk, you might think that sex is the most important part of marriage, and if you listened to others, you’d think it really doesn’t matter at all. How important is a healthy sex life to...
Cathy and Jim had been married for almost 20 years. At the beginning of their marriage, neither of them took their Christian faith too seriously. An occasional visit to church was enough. Through the challenges of raising children, health scares and financial...
*The two-part blog series we’re wrapping up this week is a sneak peak into what Dr. Juli Slattery has been working on ... a complete rewrite of her book Finding the Hero in Your Husband. Stay tuned for updates on when it will be released in 2021!* Now that we...
This guest post by Mary DeMuth first appeared here. This is one of those posts I am starting that I don’t know how it will end. During this time of COVID, racial tension, and employment worries, I (like you) have had some space to observe my life. And...
Yesterday, Mike and I were in downtown Denver to visit a friend in the Denver trauma hospital. On the way, we stopped by Whole Foods to get some snacks for our friends as they pass the long hours in the hospital. “Why are the streets so busy on a Saturday morning?” we...
We as an organization affirm that there is one triune God, The Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. Jesus is the Son of God, came to earth as a man and died to save sinners. We believe that humanity was created in the Image of God, but is fallen and separated from God...
We spend a lot of time as Christ-followers talking about forgiving one another. After all, Jesus taught the importance of forgiveness, saying that our Heavenly Father will not forgive us if we fail to forgive each other. That’s pretty heavy! While forgiveness is a...